That’s what I was saying to my wife and myself on Sunday. You see Sundays are date days for the two of us. Some couples like to do Friday date nights but that’s just a little to cliché, so we turned it into Sunday Date Day. Usually we go and have breakfast at The Farm at South Mountain (in the winter and spring), La Grande Orange or JP Pancakes. Then it’s off to a movie, some shopping and anything else we feel like. So Sunday started off as any typical Sunday would. With a small argument about where to have breakfast. (The Mrs. is crabby when she wakes up) then we hop in my POS Jeep and that turns into an argument with the steering wheel because the peeps at Firestone can’t seem to get the wheel’s properly aligned… That’s another story for another day…Anyway… we get back from the best breakfast on earth (www.jppancake.com) and seeing Hell Boy 2 (2 stars) around 2pm. Looks a bit stormy. Around 4pm is when this guy starts to get hungry. What do I have a tape worm? We chose to head to Chandler to hit up Valle Luna. Our house is near South Mountain so this is going to be about a 15 mile adventure. Usually takes 25-30 minutes max. We start driving down Southern Ave. It’s raining so hard we can see maybe 20 feet in front of our car. Bummer… Time to turn around and head back home to a fridge full of nothing. About an hour or so later we decide “ok, looks like it’s letting up a bit” it’s time to go and get some Valle Luna. Back in the car and off we go. Keep in mind it’s still raining like nothing else.
It’s now 4:40pm and Southern Ave. looks more like The Southern Phoenix River. Water has filled the storm drains to capacity forcing manhole covers up and out of their normal resting position and they are now floating down the river. Obviously as an Arizona Native the best decision would be to take Baseline out to the East Valley and bypass Southern. Good idea, unless Baseline is closed due to a fatal accident because people don’t know how to drive in the rain. So, flip a u-turn and head back up to Southern. From 24th St. to 40th on Southern it was single file at about 5 miles an hour. Both sides of the street were flooded. Cars were stranded because they couldn’t handle the deep water. Both directions passing each other with about a mirrors distance between each car. Finally we emerge above the flood past 40th street 30 minutes into the journey when Tawney (the wife) offers up the idea, “Maybe we should just pick up a pizza and go home.” What? I don’t think so. “That’s a horrible idea.” I’ve got a plan. I know every back road in our neighborhood. We’ll avoid the 10 and go behind the Arizona Grand resort and sneak through the foothills of South Mountain, it will be piece of cake. Wrong. Just as we get behind the resort (right below Rustlers Roost near the tee-box of #1 on Phantom Horse) the road is backed up and people are standing outside of their cars. Never a good sign. Instead of getting out to see if I could be of some help, because you know a car could have flipped over and had a baby trapped in the back seat while the mom was fighting off a spooked horse from the stables across the street, into reverse we go disregarding any traffic signs and all traffic laws in general. “Suck it up sissy, you’re gonna have to hit the I-10″ and to my disbelief it’s was smooth sailing. 1st time for everything right? The 10 is never smooth sailing even on a clear dry day. Oh well…
After an hour in the car to make a 12.5 mile trip to Valle Luna (Ray and Dobson) we arrive. The food was wonderful as always, they even forgot to charge for the rice mixed into my Bean and Cheese burrito. The ride home took maybe 20 minutes. The moral of the story: When you watch the news after it rains and you go “It’s raining you idiots…” just think, you might actually know one of those idiots. It’s probably me driving single file, 5 miles an hour, risking my wife’s life to get a burrito.
